(Source: fckyeahblackgaycouples, via queermenofcolorinlove)
(Source: yogadudes, via borntobeabeast)
When you can’t imagine you can fall to pieces in another’s sturdy arms and still be seen as whole
remember the universe only became the universe when it shattered into dust. — Andrea Gibson (via ohandreagibson)
“We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present.” Marianne Williamson
I lost about 10lbs over the break and went from around 192 (probably more lbs) to 182. In the past week since I’ve been at school that’s been a bit stagnant, but I definitely have lost some fat percentage as I can see my collarbone a little bit more and the muscles in my arms are more defined. I’ve been doing tactical bodyweight training, and I take ballet and modern (for about an hour and 30 mins each) on Tuesdays and Thursdays weekly.
I haven’t seen many lbs drop since I’ve reached 182, however, and I would like to keep that number going down a little and get into the 170s by next week. It seems like maintaining my weight will always be relatively easy as long as I am active, but losing weight usually requires about an hour and 30 of cardio daily, and at least 15-30 minutes of intense running on the treadmill. This week. I’m moving to an intermittent fasting schedule. I will be doing all of my eating between 11:30AM and 7:30PM Monday through Saturday, and I will be fasting a full 24 hours on Sunday (meaning I will eat my last meal on Saturday before 7:30PM and abstain from eating again until 7:30PM on Sunday.) During fasting hours, I don’t drink juices, sodas or alcohol, and if I have tea, it’s without sugar.
Why am I doing this? When I don’t work out, I’ve noticed I have lower self-esteem, energy, and happiness. When I’m actively in the gym, my self-esteem feels higher, as well as my energy and happiness. However, sometimes it seems hard to keep going if I’m not seeing the pounds drop, so I try to balance those two interests while on the journey. The ultimate goal is to have abs and to be sexier, but not for someone else. Dating life and relationship life seem to both be difficult if one doesn’t have a strong relationship with oneself, so I’m trying to use this next 100 days to focus in on me.
Truth is, it’s been difficult to not pick up the phone and text someone just to cut the feeling of loneliness, but I also don’t feel strongly attached to reaching out to hang out with people or to have to maintain relationships. Perhaps I’m an old soul, but young life seems to… transitory to commit to anyone but myself. I haven’t always felt this way, but in the 3 months, I’ve begun to see how difficult it is to connect for me and for me to feel safe. And so, I’ve crafted my private space to be more of a retreat/hideout. I plan on spending some time in solitude, much more than usual, while I develop a comfort in being alone.
Decided to match (: #dateday #bubs #muah